There jokes
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Why can't England play Clash, Chess, or Checkers?
Because they lost their queen.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
Knock knock. Who’s there? We ask the questions!!!!!!!!
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?
It was the bomb.
In England, for every church, there are two pubs.
In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.
There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!
Why don't you use a dull pencil?
Because there's no point. 😐😑😑
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."