Them jokes

Why do most orphans cook for themselves?

They don't have a home cook.

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

Why are orphans good at dodge ball?

No one misses them.

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Handicapped jokes are so cruel.

I can't stand them!

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!

Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.

What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."

How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?

Both of them.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.