Them jokes
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
Father: Iβm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you wonβt be bored. Youβre going to need them there.
Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.
I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
How did the rich save the poor?
They didn't let them in the Titanic.
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldnβt listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
What do orphans and homework have in common?
Everybody forgets about them.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.