Their jokes

What do orphans have in common with mute children?

They can't talk to their parents.

I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.

But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until they see their parents.

I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."

Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

You know why orphans like boomerangs?

Because they come back, unlike their parents.

Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.

An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?

They believe their own lies.

What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"

Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?

The kids section.

People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.

They can stay in their living room.

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.