The jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?
A: He broke his funny bone!
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress up as the altar boy.
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓