The jokes
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;