The jokes
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
Let's have toast in the bath.
How does the skeleton call his friends? With a tele-bone.
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.
What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?
Let’s rock!
What mountain cries the most?
A mountain under water.