The jokes

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?

Niagra falls

What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's parents?

The clock actually comes back around.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

The Twin Towers remind me of an emote... bing, bang, boom.

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

What's an orphan's favorite band?

Foster the People 😂

Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

The F in orphans stands for family...

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

What was the orphan's name?

Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?