The jokes

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Accident

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

Foot

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Mother

Kris

Damn this shit!

Megan Thee Stallion: What!

Kris: My mother is a fucker!

The whole world:

OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.

Funeral

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

Cow

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"

Olympics

It's the Olympics.

Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.

Brat

Addison Banks Age (8)

"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"

Time

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

Dawn

Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.

Relationship

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!

Car

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

Depression

Real Pokémon.

Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.

Creeper

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D