The jokes

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

What's the artist imagine something?

Imagine Dragons!

Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!

Yo momma's so ugly that she made One Direction turn into the Other Directions.

Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.

How to Make an Orphan cry

Step 1: Talk about Home.

Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.

Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!

Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.

Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer; the other one is just an orphan.

What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.

I couldn't think of anything because you're in the "countryside."

You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭