The jokes
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.
A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?
It danced its a** off.
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.