The jokes
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.
Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.
Memes
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"
What's the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.