The jokes
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
I looked in the mirror.
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
Memes
omg im sobbing so hard, saddest yt comment ever bro, challenge, find a sadder one
My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?
Because he was hoppy.
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home"?
Was your birthday?
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
Look at the bright side!
The worst is behind us.
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
Why don't gay men perform anilingus on each other in Greece?
Because anilingus is against the law in Greece.
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.