My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the devil read the Bible.
