The Devil

The Devil Jokes

Exorcism

What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

Heaven

My favorite toast for parties:

May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.

Phone Call

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

Sequel

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

Gift

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Exorcism

Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.

Jesus

Why did Jesus create the Devil?

He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.

Exorcism

A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.

Priest

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once went to hell.

After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Hell

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1

Hairline

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

Devil

To Drew the Devil,

We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.

Angry Alex