The Devil jokes

Movie

Raven · 8 years ago

Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

Mama

Silverfan900 · 8 years ago

Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.

Satan

sus · 4 years ago

If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.

Exorcism

Connor · 2 years ago

A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.

Hell

Storm_saga_737 · 4 years ago

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1

Corner

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

The Devil memes

Water

King Cat · 8 years ago

How do you make Holy Water?

Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.

Hairline

Riyah Tuke · 3 years ago

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

Devil

Dr. Fire · 4 years ago

So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?

A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.

Ugliness

Listic · 3 years ago

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"

Yo mama

Jerry :P · 5 years ago

Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Devil

Alex · 5 years ago

To Drew the Devil,

We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.

Angry Alex

Satan

; · 3 years ago

Satan and the devil are alter egos.

Mama

Anonymous · 9 years ago

Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the devil read the Bible.

Your mom

Anonymous · 4 years ago

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

God

Anonymous · 7 years ago

Why did God make the devils die?

God is great!

Exorcism

Anonymous · 6 years ago

What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."