Tears jokes

They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel its skin off.

Have you ever heard of the eye tear?

Me either.

You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."

The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.

I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.

It's just too tear-able.

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

Wanna hear a terrible joke?

Paper

Pretty tear-able, huh?

Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?

No more tears.