Suicide vest jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

At least one does something when it is triggered.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?

A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.

where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!

A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.

Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.