SOS jokes

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Yo mama so skinny, she choked on a SINGLE STRAND OF SPAGHETTI!

I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house......

And came back out with a job application, then that ran away *CAUSE SHE'S A UGLY FUCK*

How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.

Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.

Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.

You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.

"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

Which mineral is so impolite?

IRONic.

Yo mama so fat, she is fat!

My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.

5+2 = 7

But 4+3 also = 7

So take your own path.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

Why is sex with pandas so much fun?

I don't know, it just is. 🐼