SOS jokes

So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.

Never mind.

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.

When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃

When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.

Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... Ha!

Yo mama is so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

Yo mama so fat, she the ice burg.

This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.

Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.

Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?

So he could be in a lovely family before death.