SOS jokes

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought that fruit punch was a boxer.

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.

Yo mama is so ugly that James Charles rejected her.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.

Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?

So they can climb a fence easier.

Why is America so bad at Clash of Clans? Because we already lost two towers.

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!

Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?

Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.