SOS jokes

Why was the orphan so bad at baseball?

He couldn't find home.

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

Your mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl!

She’s so therapeutic.

When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!

Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.

Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.

Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.

What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?

They blow themselves up.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."