SOS jokes

It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.

Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.

Kid: So what? At least they love me more.

Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a COVID test.

Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!

Why are orphans so lucky?

Every crisp packet is family sized.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.

With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.

What do orphans go to church for?

So they can call someone "father."

You are so hairy, you starred in Donkey Kong before!

You are so hairy, Bigfoot took your picture!

You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

THIS IS A RHYME

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.

Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,

and they had a little fun.

Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.

Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.