SOS jokes

Yo mama so stupid, she used a fork to save the milk from the cereal.

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they finally have someone to call father.

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

Yo momma's so fat, she was the iceberg in the Titanic.

Emo jokes are not funny, so cut it out.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

High school crush: Who is it?

Me: You.

Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

Me: Fuck that.

Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.