SOS jokes

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So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"

Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

I wish I could follow you, though.

But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(

Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.

You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."

Emos are dark people....

...So why are they all white?

Goths are even darker...

SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?