A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.
You are so ugly my man died.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
Bleach solves so many problems:
Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.
Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Why did the orphan go to a church?
So he could call someone "father."
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.
