Slang jokes

When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Doin (DYM 8).

What do you call an abo with a shotgun?

Sir.

Yurrrrrrr?

What do you call a thirsty girl?

An H2Hoe.

What did one copper say to the other? C U.

Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?

You pick it up off the street.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

*Aye, Matey!*

What does FNAF mean? Five Nasty Ass Fools.

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?

You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!

The other person: Who?

You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.

A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.

Long hair Danny, the fanny.

Why did the squirrel swim on its back?

So it didn't get its nuts wet.

What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.

Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol

Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!

Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."