*True story* I saw his guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said smurf paint but I shouted MEGAMIND
You are so fat, that when you wear a yellow raincoat, that a running person behind you shouted "TAXI!"
Al fayed’s son arrives at heavens gates and sees his driver He shouts ‘ you stupid cunt ‘ The driver says ‘ Watch Boss? ‘ Dodi replies..::::: I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL
Elsa got a boyfriend and the boyfriend wanted to try anal. She was too keen but she just lay back and shouted “INTO THE UNKNOWN!”
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...I bought a Dalek egg timer recently... After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
A kid gets home from school and find his mom and dad having sex, the kid asks "what are you doing dad" the dad replies "having sex with your mom son" and he starts laughing The next day dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan, the dad shouts "what the hell are you doing son" the kid replies " it's not funny when it's your mom is it"
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like usa and China and the rest of the west!
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go barf, American dogs go woof and Chinese dogs go sizzle
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot, then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: I killed your horse... The second quickly left and when he returned he said: We have poisoned all your cows
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away? Get to the ground beef
Bf :- babe are you traffic police? Gf :- No Bf :- then why do you shout at me not wearing the helmet ?
Paddy and Murphy are walking down street, when all of a sudden Paddy falls down a manhole, Murphy shouts down "Paddy is it dark down there". Paddy shouts up "dunno Murphy I crnt see a fecking thing"
A woman in labour suddenly shouted "Shouldn't!, "Wouldn't", "Couldn't, Didn't, Can't"
"Don't worry", said the doc. "Those are just contractions"
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being load and shouting about all the woman they have in port that had given them gonorrhea.... Bloody Seamen.
There is this boy in my year , he is in a wheelchair so I kicked a football at him and pushed him and so then I shouted ROCKET LAUGE
Yo mama's so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted taxi
A man is meeting a client in Japan, yet arrives a day early. When night hit he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, yet the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
