Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates, what is it?" "OH, honey that's your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" the sister replies with a laugh "you think that's cool my monkey is already eating bananas
I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
why did sally fall off the swing... she had no arms why did joe get hit by a bus... sally was driving it where did sally go during the bombing... everywhere
I saw a kid crying so I asked them "where are your parents?" then she cried harder, so i left the orphanage
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
your sister is so stupid she only thinks a onion will make people cry.
so i throw a coconut at her
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
