She jokes

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.