She jokes

My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she died by a flying brick!

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she got hit by a bus.

Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.

So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.

When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.

My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!

I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Not Sally.

While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!

Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!

How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?

She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’