Yo man, stand up
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die Me : No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing i'll do
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big fat blow job.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously it's called dark humor for a reason
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously I'm not joking
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says "we've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says "seriously? Why would you name a drink named Callum?"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When elsa said let it go, you took to seriously and let go of your hairline
I got a phone call from a guy labled 'assassin' saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w-
*gunshot*
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
(Don't take this seriously just funny): Yo mama so fat when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her a yell "Hey Yo Taxi!!!"
People need to stop taking life so seriously, after all, no one gets out alive!
So one time I was looking up the definition of accident because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me, and points at the word and says, “That’s you!”(meaning that I was an accident) A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you. But we still love you with everything we’ve got.”
My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
