Yo man, stand up
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die Me : No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing i'll do
Wife is texting husband- Honey if I give you 300 dollars will you stop being blind? husband-seilghsielguG Wife- seriously David Husband-fuweyadb
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true
I am the least serious person ever but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)
Get some fucking respect you silly tramp
Why is death taken so lightly??? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!". And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated you arms."
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously it's called dark humor for a reason
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big fat blow job.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously I'm not joking
Why are mountains 🏔 never serious?
Because they’re hill areas.
This not even a joke its a serious question.... Is eating ass considered cannabilism?
A wife was cleaning 12-year-old son’s bedroom When she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?” The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says "we've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says "seriously? Why would you name a drink named Callum?"
SERIOUSLY WHO WANTS FUCKING ANNOYING ORANGE AS PRESIDENT
When elsa said let it go, you took to seriously and let go of your hairline
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
I got a phone call from a guy labled 'assassin' saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w-
*gunshot*
