Selves jokes

Hangman

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

Army

If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.

People

Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?

To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.

People

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

Actor

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

Emo

Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?

Orphan

Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?

Because they're home alone themselves!