Scissors jokes

Cut.

I wish my hair was depressed.

Cause then it would cut itself.

Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?

Scissors beat paper.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.

Paper.

Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.

Rock, paper, lesbians.

Do you want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

You know those paper families you cut out?

Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.