Scissors jokes
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
Cut.
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.