Sans

Sans jokes

Mom

  • FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.

    So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...

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  • Bone

  • Sans: Zzzzzzzz.

    Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!

    Sans: What is it, dude?

    Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

    Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

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  • Glory Hole

  • What is the origin of the glory hole?

    The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.

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  • Knife

  • * Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?

    Frisk: One knife, plz.

    Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.

    Waiter: You eat a knife?

    Frisk: Yes.

    *Waiter asking for one knife*

    Waiter: Here you go.

    Frisk: Thanks you.

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  • Undertale

  • Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

    Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

    Baseball

  • Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

    1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

    3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

    4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

    5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

    6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

    7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

    8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

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  • Skeleton

  • Sans: Why did the skeleton go to the party?

    Papyrus: Why?

    Sans: 'Cause he was too fat and ugly!

    Papyrus: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA LOLOL,OLOLOL

    Ketchup

  • Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!

    UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!

    Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!

    Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."

    Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

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