Rural Area jokes

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

What do retarded cops give tickets for?

Going over 45 in a potato zone.

This city slicker broke down on a country road. He looked around, and in the distance, he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there, he asked the farmer if he had a phone he could use because his had no reception.

The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married, and the farmer said, "If you marry my daughter, I’ll give you half my farm..." The guy said, "Lemme see her..." The farmer hollered, “Hey you, get over here...” and she said, “Duh, ok.” The ol' boy looked at her and said, "Nooo thank you."

The father said, “I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....” The ol' boy thought for a minute and said, “Well I guess I can put a sack over her head.” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything.

One day the guy was up fixin' the roof and hollered, “Hey you, get me some nails...” His wife said, “Duh, nails, nails?” He said, “Yes, nails,” and showed her one. She said, “Oh, duh, nails, nails.” He said, “Yes, nails.” So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb, and he yells, “Oh F*** it!” and she turned and hollered, “Duh, a sack, a sack, duh, a sack!”

Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?

They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.

Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.

You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?

Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.

Alabama.

Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.

Don't bother; just try to live in England.