Royal Family jokes
I got, I got, I got royalty inside my penis, or however the song goes.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
This joke is unavailable due to the National Period of Mourning. Please return to this page on the 19th of September.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...