Root jokes
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Being a man that is poor really isn't that bad as long as you are involved in the world's oldest profession and you are well-endowed and you are not homophobic and as long as you can suck the chrome off a tailpipe then you have nothing to worry about if you are desperate enough to pay your bills.
Lack of money is the root of all evil. 😊
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.