Restriction jokes
Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"
Me: "They are Parental Guidance."
Sorry, no adults allowed.
Only 3 per person.
What's written on the bottom of a Belgian swimming pool?
"No smoking."
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.
What's the difference between a midget and a tall person? Only one of them can ride the rides.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
Never eat more than you can lift.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!