Restraint jokes
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."
"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."
Community talk
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? Well, that's alright, because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry? Well, that's alright, because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now, there's a steel knife in my windpipe I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight As long as the wrong feels ri… Read more