Reese Witherspoon jokes

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

Legally Blonde.

Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!