I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇
Random guy: come on bin laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK I'll leave.
Random guy: Do you know Dee?
Other dude: Who’s Dee?
Random guy: Dee Snuts!
A guy start texting a Cute girl and ask to give her phone no. So he can't call her the girl ok but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number then I am gonna be your gf and will meet you somewhere the transfer her the balance and called her but turn out the girl was actually a guy making him fool he blocked him. Next day he was very angry about himself being fool so thought he gonna do the same he make a fake girl account and start texting with some random guy and then he ask that guy to send him balance. Suddenly his father came in his bedroom and ask " son can you send me some balance i am gonna send you can after sometime" that guy look at his father with suspicious eyes and then he call that random number suddenly his father phone start ringing......