Principal

Principal Jokes

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They got in the car, and his mother asked "Johnny, what did you do this time? So johnny pulled his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home his dad was off work and heard that johnny was coming home early from school, once again he asked johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised so his dad pulled down his pants and said "Big whale, big whale."

1

The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.

“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

The teacher asked a young boy in primary school "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

To which the boy replies "No"

The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.

At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

"Shut up" she replied

The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks "Can you teach me the alphabet?"

But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.

But his brother is singing "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.

But his sister is singing "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.

The boy replies "Shut up."

"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."

The boy replies "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

In the office, the principal says "who do you think you are?"

The boy replies "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The principal now says "how do you think you'll get away with this?"

The boy them replies "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

6

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.... The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

*Principal:* What is 3+3?

*Boy:* 6.

*Principal:* 6+6.

*Boy:* 12.

The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

*Madam:* What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

*Boy:* Legs.

*Madam:* What is in your trousers that I don't have?

*Boy:* Pockets.

*Madam:* What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

*Boy:* Coconut.

*Madam:* What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?

The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

*Boy:* Bubble gum.

*Madam:* You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

*Boy:* Tent.

*The principal was looking restless*

*Madam:* A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

*Boy:* Wedding ring.

*Madam:* I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

*Boy:* Nose.

*Madam:* I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

*Boy:* Arrow.

*Principal:* O MY GOD.

*Madam:* What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?

*Boy:* Fork.

*Madam:* What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

*Boy:* Surname.

*Principal:* Ohooo !

*Madam:* What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

*Boy:* Heart.

*Principal:* Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, "Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!"

So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen't to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered 'SUPERMAN!!!'. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said 'in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said 'Olé Olé Olé!!!'. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!', the teacher boomed. 'Superman', the boy replied. 'WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!', the teacher continued. 'In the Barbie Dream House' 'GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!' 'OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!', the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

A boy was terrible at writing sentences so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences and return to school the next day. When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call so he angrily shouted at the child “Shut up you Donkey!” The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom who assumed that he wanted to play video games so she said “No my dear, tomorrow.” That was his second sentence. For the third sentence he went to his older brother who was watching football where someone scored a goal so he was jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” For the fourth sentence he went to his sister who was singing “Spider-Man Spider-Man!”. For the last sentence he went to his grandmother who was cleaning the toilet and singing “Under the toilet, under the toilet”. He went to school the next day and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, “Shut up you Donkey!” The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, “Do you want me to slap you?” The boy said, “No my dear, tomorrow.” This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately he started jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” The teacher dragged him to the principal’s office as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was to which he replied by singing “ Spider-Man Spider-Man!” She asked him where he lived so he sang “Under the toilet, under the toilet”.

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, " I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?" Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!" >The teacher grabbed Billy, and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, " Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I ***KNEW*** that damn thing had wheels!"

Little Johnny was not paying attention in class so the teacher told him do you know what happens when you don't pay attention. Little Johnny said no what. She answered, the principals office. Then little Jhonny said hey teach do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin? The teacher answered, no what. You have a D!ck in your mouth.