Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
What's the name for a short legged tramp?
A low-down bum.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
What did the homeless person get for Christmas?
- Nothing.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Yo mama so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.
Yo mama so poor, she can't even pay attention.
