Potter Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

Chamber

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?

Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.

Movie

Harry Potter

Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

Jumanji

Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."

Wizard

What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?

Hairy Potter.

Memes

Newspaper

A comic strip shows people dressed in Harry Potter costumes waiting outside a store with a sign that reads 'Midnight Sale'. The text reads 'THE PAST... "IT WAS THE EARLY 2000s. A TIME WHEN WE ALL LEARNED TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS AGAINST SPOILERS." I'VE AVOIDED READING NEWSPAPERS AND EVEN LOGGED OFF OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB TO MAKE SURE THAT THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK ISN'T RUINED FOR ME. "ME TOO! I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK MY GEOCITIES PAGE UNTIL I'M THROUGH THE BOOK!" MIDNIGHT SALE SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! -OOOOOOOORRRRE! NOOOOOOOO!'. In the next panels, Deadpool in a Harry Potter themed cloak spoils the book.

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Orphan

Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.

Golfer

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

Wolf

What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”

That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼‍♂️.

Abortion

People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.

Death

Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.

Fog

After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"

Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"

Wheelchair

Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?

They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...

Memes

Owl

A two-panel image with the text "There's an owl outside your house waiting for you" at the top. The top panel shows a man looking excited, with the text 'Harry Potter fans' on the left. The bottom panel shows a man crying, with the text 'Duolingo users' on the left.

Life

A fluffy white dog wearing glasses and a Gryffindor scarf is sitting next to a copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. The text reads, "When your life is falling apart but it's ok because your Hogwarts acceptance letter will be here any minute now."

Death eater

aight I gochu heres da recolered image

In an inverted image, several people wearing pointy hats and white robes stand in a field. Text at the top of the image states, "When the Death-eaters appeared in "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" (2005), I thought they were an evil version of the KKK."

Death eater

Can't believe this movie came out in 2005.

A still image from the movie Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire shows several figures wearing dark robes and pointy hoods. Two of the figures have skull masks. The text above the image says "When the Death-eaters appeared in 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' (2005), I thought they were an evil version of the KKK."

Car

A split image shows two dogs. The left dog looks upset and angry, the right dog smiles happily. Above the images, it says "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! NO NOTE! CAR GONE! YOU COULD'VE DIED! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SEEN!" and "Hello Harry, dear!"

Owl

not my meme but I have an official license

A two-panel meme. The top panel shows the text "There's an owl outside your house waiting for you" at the top, and to the left, "Harry Potter fans". To the right of this text is a close-up image of a person with yellow sunglasses looking extremely excited and grinning. The bottom panel shows the text "Duolingo users" to the left, and to the right is a close-up image of a person (possibly the same person) crying with tears streaming down their face.

Harry Potter

HARRY POTTER MEMES

The image contains a collage of different scenes and text from the Harry Potter movies. In one image, Umbridge says 'ADMIT IT. YOU WANTED HER DEAD MORE THAN VOLDEMORT!' Another image contains Dumbledore saying 'I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS, BUT NO SPELL CAN REAWAKEN THE DEAD, HARRY. I TRUST YOU KNOW THAT. EXCEPT FOR THE TIME TURNER. WE'LL USE THAT TO SAVE BUCKBEAK.' Another image says 'Neville's parents... They suffered something worse than death. What?' Another image shows Voldemort with the text 'VOLDEMORT IS AFTER SOMETHING. SOMETHING HE DIDN'T HAVE LAST TIME. A NOSE?' Another image shows Harry and Ron with Hermione, and the text 'I HAVE MY ARMY' 'WE HAVE NOSES'. Another image shows a random woman saying 'ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS RUN STRAIGHT INTO THAT BRICK WALL OVER THERE AND YOU'LL END UP ON PLATFORM 9 AND 3/4. RANDOM WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET TELLS YOU TO RUN INTO A BRICK WALL IN ORDER TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.' and 'SOUNDS LEGIT'. Another image asks 'Why is the Ravenclaw symbol an eagle? What other animal would you want it to be?'. and 'maybe, a Raven?'. The last image has the text 'HOW TO BUILD A PREST'

Death eater

The image shows a screenshot of a post that reads: "When the Death-eaters appeared in 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' (2005), I thought they were an evil version of the KKK." Below is a still from the movie showing a group of people dressed as Death Eaters in black robes and pointed hats.

Harry Potter

The actual fuck is this Advertisement.

An advertisement featuring two photos of Emma Watson. One photo is from when she was a child, the other is a more recent, and suggestive one. The text on the image reads: '(Uncut) Sexy Harry Potter Star. #42 Is The Hottest Picture I've Ever Seen.'

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