Pond jokes
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."
What do frogs eat?
French fries!
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
Community talk
(Reposting cause I wasn’t in my acc)
ALRIGHT homies we’re gonna do a thing! I’ll write a sentence, then everyone else continue the story in the comments. ONE SENTENCE AT A TIME!!!
You’re welcome to do as many as you want, but wait for at least one person to add to it before you do. Anything goes, so you can literally make the next sentence WHATEVER you want (as long as it makes some sense with the story). Have fun!
Here’s how it starts: “Long ago lived a silly turtle, happily living in a pond.
(I expect this to be a fully fledged story by the time I check back)
ALRIGHT homies we’re gonna do a thing! I’ll write a sentence, then everyone else continue the story in the comments. ONE SENTENCE AT A TIME!!!
You’re welcome to do as many as you want, but wait for at least one person to add to it before you do. Anything goes, so you can literally make the next sentence WHATEVER you want (as long as it makes some sense with the story). Have fun!
Here’s how it starts: “Long ago lived a silly turtle, happily living in a pond.”