Politics jokes
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
Yo mama is Obama.
Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?
Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
Like this if you like me.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
The Nazis.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?
The condom was actually useful at one point.
Republicunts/Cuntservaturds.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.