Politics jokes
Fuck Jewkraine!
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
“I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny.
“Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.
“Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny, and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother shit in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad fucking his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is fucking the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!"
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
I love Communism.
Make America Great Britain again!
Donald Trump will return to Twitter.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
How do you know America's bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers!
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
I'm going to bomb a little child (I'm an USA bomber).
What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Lmao Trump and Putin dislike my jokes! 🤣😂