Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us? It’s the only place they can vote!
Wade. You're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not. I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Husband: Dammit alice! I'm your husband and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you! Wife: Go to hell Bob! I'm Leaving! Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours? Girl: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
What’s an autistic persons favourite movie: A quiet place
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Subway was a place where you buy subways.
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like your belongs in a place worse than a zoo
What is the difference between hungry and horny? The cucumber goes to different places
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of google search results
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: Wow look at that sexy body! Savvy!
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time....
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's
A catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession and while he is inside the confessional booth the catholic priest is sucking his dick and he says to the catholic priest what are you doing father and the priest says it's called giving a blowjob and the catholic gay male says why are you giving me a blowjob father inside the confessional booth? and the catholic priest says if there was no glory hole in the confessional booth my son it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place
I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence...
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
