Pharmacy jokes
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?
Drugs.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
Why doesn't Africa have pharmacies?
Because you can't take drugs on an empty stomach.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."