What comedy skill can’t any cripple master? Stand up.
I was a sit down comedian then i try to stand up I felled
I wished i stayed in the wheelchair.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair? Hot wheels
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing? Me: Sure.. ( Expecting a completely different response than what I get. ) Sister: Nvm, they have no difference. Me: * Confused * Sister: They're both horrible.
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that i saw pristiano penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero? He woke up and found out it was true.
Please welcome Mozarts The Magic Flute...
In A Minor
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked.
Why did the Michael Jackson cross the road
To get to the opera
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶
- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏
Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶
my fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type, after performing some tests the doctor said " well the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
why do priests perform baptisms, so they can see children wet
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*
Did u here about the emo kid who audition for the school play?
He made the cut
Why was the emo kicked out of the circus? Because he was cutting in line!
