Peeping Tom jokes

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?

They both see things they shouldn't.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."

The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk, but only one person knows about it.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

Watching the 9/11 documentaries, just watching a kill cam.

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.