Pedophille jokes
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
Memes
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?
White Vans!
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.